Christmas is here, what the fuck happened to 2009.
2009 was probably the worst year of my life. Although in my short 15 years on earth I’ve lost some of the most important people in my life, I didn’t feel any of the pain until this year. The anxiety went into full force, the obsessive irrational thoughts consumed me day and night, I had a support system, but without the medicine I’ve been on for almost a year now, I don’t think I would’ve made it. I turned away from the Lord and didn’t allow him to try and talk to me, it just wasn’t an option. How could someone who loved me so much hurt me so much? But now I see, this is all apart of a bigger plan that I’m unaware of.
January 5 will most likely be one of the hardest days of 2010, it’ll be 6 years since my mommy died, since the one person I loved the most left this world for her permanent home in Heaven. It’s somewhat easier knowing that one of the hardest days will be in the beginning of the year, not to say I don’t miss her daily, but the day she left earth will never be the same.